Friend (noun)

Definition: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard; a person who gives assistance; supporter

One of my younger cousins has had girls in her school make fun of her. I tell her, “No one can make you feel bad about yourself.” I have told her this a few times along with other things to try to get her to believe she is stronger than someone else's words and actions. She is 10 years old. Here I am, screeching towards 30, trying so hard to take my own advice. It’s not easy…it’s not easy to not let other people make you feel bad about yourself. It’s not easy to kick someone out of your mind. Over the years, I have had people walk into and out of my life. The friends I have lost I have questioned why. Looking back events within those relationships show why the friendship became strained. 

I feel as though I am currently losing another friend. Friendships are apart of our humanity. We are born to be social, to interact with one another. Getting older either your friends grow with you or you grow apart. That's life. My best friend from high school is still my best friend. We do not talk everyday but when we need one another we reach out. I still have a couple of good friends from high school, I still keep in touch with the girls I use to dance with. I still keep in touch with a couple of friends from my first real job after college. 

When I think about the wonderful friends I have had in life it's fun to see all the crazy and fun times and to see how far we have come. And when I look back at pictures of myself and this friend I remember all the good times and laughs. This is the first time in my life where I have hit a rough patch with a friend. I have never had a blow out fight or anything of that nature with any friend. It has been that distance grew for some rhyme or reason.

The skills I learned from counseling have become apart of my every day life especially when a friend is having a tough time and they ask for advice. It's as though I have been permanently uniformed to help others grow as individuals. I become disappointed when this does not happen but I understand I cannot do it all. Well, I come to that understanding once I have hit the 'nothing left' wall. That is where I am now. I am a solver, I am honest, I like to help. Come to me with a problem and I will do everything I can to help, even if it there are no words and just a hug. One of the most important things learned from my personal life and short counseling career is that you can only help those who want to be helped. Growing up in a Christian home the saying, 'God helps those who help themselves' really comes to truth. I have reached this point with this friend. I am trying to embrace this growing pain completely instead of just holding it waiting to see if something else will happen to change this course. Time heals pain, and it also shows truth. Hanging on to faith, I know this will all work out the way it is meant to. 

In the words of one of my very good friends, "Friendships are hard...Don't stress...there is a bigger reason why this is happening"- G