My paid part time job has taken a back seat and my unpaid internship has become my job. I feel as though I have been doing well regarding stressful matters. I make sure to take time to gather my thoughts, I try not to get too anxious or overwhelmed. I remember to breathe and tell myself, “I can do this. I haven’t gotten this far…8 months to go”. Well when my presentation in class did not go according to plan I wanted to run away and cry. I suddenly felt a rush of being mentally drained. What happened was technology did not seem to be on my side. I just kept thinking: I have been working so hard how come this one little thing is holding me back? I was so frustrated I went into the hallway to pull myself together. In my cohort I am known for being organized, and always have projects and papers done well before they are due. There have been a few times when I over hear a conversation that sounds like this, “Hey, did you take a look at that project that is due?” “Nope, haven’t started it” “It’s a little confusing” “Ask Elyse, she is probably done with it”. Going back to class my cohort looked at me with sorrowful glances. It must have shown how upset I was. Class ended and I wanted to run to my car and just get off of campus. Two of my peers in class ended up having to walk the same way to their cars. They both gave me their, sorry’s about what happened in class. Sometimes I forget they understand. They are working just as hard as me. My entire cohort is. Their sorry’s sounded as though they were giving me their condolences. That’s when it occurred to me. Why am I stressing over this? It didn’t work as planned. Instead of dwelling on it I have to move forward. No one died, and I refuse to let my work fail. I just have to move forward, fix what needs to be fixed, and be done with it.
This past Wednesday was Peace Day. I wrote in my planner, “Breathe” with a peace sign, a heart and a smiley face. As I get older I understand myself more. I know how swept up I can become in my work. How my social relationships dwindle due to my consumption of my schoolwork. I need to remind myself of my ReVamped lifestyle. I need to remember that I am surrounded by love and support. I need to remember to breathe because I WILL get through this. I will surpass this stress; cleanse out the negative and push through the obstacles. And when it is all said and done I will smile and be proud. All I have to remember is to BREATHE.
