Dear 2011, I thought we'd be friends

Dear 2011,

I thought we would be great friends. Well, you started out with a slam on the breaks. As the months past the ride was bumpy but thankfully smoothed out. Just when I thought the first decade of the 21^st century had taught me so much you came along and gave me more life lessons. This year was about those who surround me. I realized that my grandfather is right, “Blood is thicker than water”. A support system is key to surviving human life. Depending on people is not something I do, but I grew to be accustomed to it. Every time I thought I could not go on you pushed me, every time I wanted to give up a sign from above said ‘No’. And when I thought having fun was not going to happen, you gave me laughs, smiles and memories that are irreplaceable. You taught me that life is shorter than people think and that at the blink of an eye your whole world can change. Taking people for granted is a sin; love and laughter are medicine for the soul. And when one grows tired and weary, they should take a nap…and keep it moving.

To 2012,

I have no idea what to expect of you. Maybe I shouldn’t expect anything. I just hope you are a year filled with health and blessings from above.

Thank you to my family and true friends, I hope I am and have been there for you as much as you have been for me. I love you all!

Wishing you a Happy New Year!

Yours truly,

Elyse

Surreal

About a week after my blog, “Goal: To Live” I was called to be in Wyclef Jean’s new music video! He was teaming up with Zumba Fitness to release a song that when purchased all proceeds would be donated to the Susan G. Komen foundation. Being a Zumba Instructor in the Tri-State area I was chosen and given this amazing once in a lifetime opportunity! It could not have come at a better time. There were about 100 people on set. I got to meet Zumba Instructors from the other New York boroughs, New Jersey and Connecticut. It was a long day but I took in the moments as much as I could. How often do you get called to be in a music video? And if its pretty often, is it a big star like Wyclef Jean?! Not only did I get to meet the man himself but I also met Beto Perez the creator and founder of Zumba along with the reigning Zumba queens, Gina Grant and Tanya Beardsley. It was a day I will never forget and cannot wait to see how the video is going to turn out. I was in the back for the most part but at least I was blessed enough to be given such an amazing opportunity!

Take life as it comes…and LIVE.

Breathe, just breathe

My paid part time job has taken a back seat and my unpaid internship has become my job. I feel as though I have been doing well regarding stressful matters. I make sure to take time to gather my thoughts, I try not to get too anxious or overwhelmed. I remember to breathe and tell myself, “I can do this. I haven’t gotten this far…8 months to go”. Well when my presentation in class did not go according to plan I wanted to run away and cry. I suddenly felt a rush of being mentally drained. What happened was technology did not seem to be on my side. I just kept thinking: I have been working so hard how come this one little thing is holding me back? I was so frustrated I went into the hallway to pull myself together. In my cohort I am known for being organized, and always have projects and papers done well before they are due. There have been a few times when I over hear a conversation that sounds like this, “Hey, did you take a look at that project that is due?” “Nope, haven’t started it” “It’s a little confusing” “Ask Elyse, she is probably done with it”. Going back to class my cohort looked at me with sorrowful glances. It must have shown how upset I was. Class ended and I wanted to run to my car and just get off of campus. Two of my peers in class ended up having to walk the same way to their cars. They both gave me their, sorry’s about what happened in class. Sometimes I forget they understand. They are working just as hard as me. My entire cohort is. Their sorry’s sounded as though they were giving me their condolences. That’s when it occurred to me. Why am I stressing over this? It didn’t work as planned. Instead of dwelling on it I have to move forward. No one died, and I refuse to let my work fail. I just have to move forward, fix what needs to be fixed, and be done with it.

This past Wednesday was Peace Day. I wrote in my planner, “Breathe” with a peace sign, a heart and a smiley face. As I get older I understand myself more. I know how swept up I can become in my work. How my social relationships dwindle due to my consumption of my schoolwork. I need to remind myself of my ReVamped lifestyle. I need to remember that I am surrounded by love and support. I need to remember to breathe because I WILL get through this. I will surpass this stress; cleanse out the negative and push through the obstacles. And when it is all said and done I will smile and be proud. All I have to remember is to BREATHE.

Goal: "To Live"

Recently one of my professors asked the class: “What is your goal? What do you want to do?”  My immediate thought was, “to live”. Her questions were towards our careers, not towards our lives. And that got me thinking. I have felt so career driven for the past 5 years. Though there have been happy times, there are times when I look around and feel like I haven’t really LIVED. I just go through life doing what is expected of me and keeping up with my responsibilities. Its as though I won’t ever get a break from that; like I am in a box and I want to push out the corners to make a circle. Maybe that time is coming…

I have one year left of graduate school. I am hoping once I graduate things will be different. I hope to have a job but then again it’s bittersweet. Not working, my responsibilities have been cut and I enjoy making my own schedule and somewhat doing my own thing. Maybe I’ll have that chance to see different parts of the world, maybe I will have that chance to go on vacation and feel complete relaxation and freedom…even if it’s for 5 minutes.

The important thing to remember is to enjoy the small moments of fun. The moments when we smile, when we laugh, when we feel completely inspired; the moments when we do what makes us truly happy, its important to LIVE. 

The Bittersweet Four Months: Part Two

These past four months I feel as though I have been able to take little short breaths. The first few months of the year I felt as though my family needed me more than ever. It was with pride and love for my family that I stepped up to the plate and tried to do anything and everything for my family. In recent months things have gotten better, but I was scared to breathe again. I was scared because I felt if I did, things would retract and the health of one of my family members that I love more than anything would get worse instead of getting better. I have been so lucky to be surrounded by loved ones whether family or friends. But isn’t it true that in your time of need you realize who is there for you and who isn’t? There are people who aren’t aware of the details of what my immediate family and I have been through yet they still asked how my family and I were doing even though they barely had an idea of what was going on. That was amazing to me; to see genuine care. It was also amazing to see those who have been there for me not be there for me now. Those who knew everything that was going on yet they did not bother to ask how things were going. 

You know how tectonic plates shift? Or how water erodes rock? I definitely feel as though the remaining people in my life are here for a reason, whatever that may be; for wisdom, for fun, for love, for support, for a reality check. It’s as though my life experiences have shaped not only my inner self but my outside world as well. Whether it be, a change over time or over night. I have learned that life is too short, we may not make the right decisions but the important part is learning and moving forward from it all. Accomplish as much as you can, appreciate the beauty that surrounds you, be inspired, cherish the happy moments, breathe deep, love completely, do what makes you happy as long as it doesn’t interfere with your health. Take the good, the positives, the hopes, with you. Leave everything else behind. 

The Bittersweet Four Months: Part One

It has been almost exactly four months since my last posting. A lot has happened. Well, for starters my eating habits have only recently gotten worse. My life has changed in the past three months and I suppose my body has gone in to lazy mode. I had to quit my full time job in order to be able to complete my internship hours for graduate school this upcoming academic year. I was able to get a job with a small family business handling their social media networking and doing some marketing. Around this time my dance classes that I teach and also my Zumba class were winding down and came to an end in June. Though I continued to teach this summer the classes were not as rigorous or as often as I have been use to teaching. Working 15 hour weeks has its pros and cons. I love having the off time to do as a please though there isn’t that much I can do since my finances are low due to working part time. It is as though I am a college student again (except I don’t remember being this broke in college, oh that’s right! I have more responsibilities now).  My stress levels have gotten high but with my new schedule that is approaching this fall I have succeeded in ‘letting things go’ so that I am mentally, emotionally, and hopefully energetically ready for when the school year begins! This summer television has become a dear friend of mine and so have reruns of my favorite shows. I have also been catching up on some books I have wanted to read. The days seem to go slow. I get bored, and this leads to my bad habits of eating. I absolutely LOVE to snack! It is a weakness, and one of my favorite things. Unfortunately, I choose to eat unhealthy things instead of healthy ones. Well today that changes!! (is this my third attempt?) I will admit I ate a brownie as a sweet and indulgent “good-bye” before I worked out today. I feel great after my work out. I hope to be able to start taking exercise classes to help get me back on track. I have one month, well more like three weeks, to get back in to a healthy diet until my crazy schedule goes in to effect. It is going to be hard to maintain a healthy diet being constantly on the go but if I did it this past spring I can definitely do it again this fall.

Off the Wagon

Ever since my birthday I have been eating sweets more than I would like to. Though the way I have been eating is still better than it was before my ReVamping! Having one birthday after another just leaves more and more cake in the house! During the sign of Aries there are 7 people in my family with birthdays! That’s a lot of dessert! (and a lot of headstrong Aries). I am finding it easier and easier to take breaks from my cell phone, which I am loving! My stress level has gone up a few times but with my ReVamp lifestyle I remember to take a deep breath; consider the brighter side and try my very hardest to let it go. I haven’t been working out the way I planned to, I just find that I am so tired and do not have energy or motivation. I haven’t been feeling as healthy lately which is disappointing but starting this upcoming week I will get back on the band wagon!!

ReVamp: Week 1

Day 1:

Woke at to a beautiful sunny day at 6:45am. Yoga helped me start off a great day! Ate healthy all day! Went food shopping and picked up food that will enhance my new way of eating. After Zumba, I had a protein drink which to my surprise was delicious! After Zumba every week I am always hungry. I eat dinner before teaching to avoid feeling faint during class. I do not like eating a full meal before I go to bed. The thought of food sitting in my stomach is not appetizing. Speaking with a few people who are work out buffs the suggestion of healthy snacks and a protein drink after Zumba came up. So that is exactly what I did! Protein drink and strawberry’s! YUM! While having my snack I decided to unwind and watch some tv. Thought this was a great opportunity to spend my 1 hour away from my phone. That was harder than I thought! Every five to ten minutes I was looking for my phone on the table and then remembering it was my one hour away from it. This is going to take some getting use to! I ended the day with some meditation. I have never felt better!

Day 2:

Could not be happier with all the healthy food I bought yesterday. Fixed myself a fruit salad big enough (or so I thought) to get me through my morning snack and my afternoon snack. Well guess what. Fruit is not filling at all! Lunch couldn’t come soon enough and when it did I was still hungry! One of the perks at my job is every so often when a meeting lets out the left over food will be brought into our kitchen. Well today was one of those days! Around 2:30pm I started to feel sluggish and needed a pick me up. I strolled on to the kitchen where I layed eyes on delicious chocolate chip cookies! As I am putting a couple on my plate I remembered! Though I am changing my eating habits this rule especially applys to when I am at work! To help me with this cleansing journey, I gave up eating junk food during the work day for Lent. (Far too often do my pink coach wallet and I take a stroll down to the vending machine for some indulgences). My wonderful and supportive co-workers told me to, “stop being a girl”, “you get a 1 hour grace period per day during lent”, and “cookies are considered lunch”. I grabbed the plate and walked back to my desk. Starring at the cookies I thought, “I can’t do this!” and so I gave the plate of cookies to my co-worker who gladly accepted and devoured the plate in front of me.  Not only did I have the strength to say ‘no’ to the cookies I also spent two hours away from my phone today! Overall today was challenging and tempting but I got through it!

Day 3:

Slept through the alarm. Ran a little late leaving for work this morning and to make matters worse there has been flooding due to all the rain we have been having. As I sat in bump to bump traffic (that’s what my great aunt calls it lol) looking at the time I started to get antsy and stress that I wasn’t going to make it to work on time. I contacted my co-worker letting her know I would be a little late, did some deep breathing and realized I have no control over the situation I am in. Stressing about it is not going to make the traffic magically disappear it is only going to put me on edge for the rest of the day. Who wants to be like that on a Friday? A Friday that is a Pay-Day no less! (Woot Woot!) I popped in some CD’s for my zumba class and was inspired to choreograph which will hopefully be this weekend.

Day 4:

Woke up and headed to a Zumba marathon! It was a lot of fun! What was not fun was getting hungry during the class when I just had breakfast! After the 75 minute cardio work out and gulping down a bottle of water went home and made myself a baby spinach omelet. I also had a granola bar and put some protein powder in my OJ. Yes, I was pretty pleased with myself. Awesome work out and healthy lunch, what could be better?  This is becoming easier than I thought.

Day 5:

Well losing the one hour of sleep definitely threw me off! Thanks Day Light Savings Time! I woke up later than I wanted to and felt overwhelmed over the time crunch I had to choreograph new routines. Well I pushed my anxiety aside, deep breath inhale positive energy, exhale stress and anxiety. Accomplished exactly what I wanted to and then ran off to the studio where the competitive dancers were putting on a showcase. The dancers were inspirational! Seeing such beauty in body expression and emotion reminded me how dance has been my outlet of expressing myself since I was a little girl. I felt so blessed and fortunate that I still have dance to lean back on when I am having a stressful day or just a bad day…Now a days I get to choreograph my own emotion and experiences and get to watch my students take on the routine as there own. It is touching when my students take on routines that I give them and interpret them as their own. This weekend I have fed my soul.

Day 6:

It is definitely easier to eat healthy when the food is right there in front of you. There are still a lot of snacks in my house that I try not to indulge in too often. Before I was inspired to ReVamp my life, if I had an apple and a donut in front of me I would not hesitate to pick up the donut and be on my way. During my 12 hour days it is so easy to go get pizza or Mc D’s because I am on the go from one job to the next or from work to school.  I guess my 12 hour days will be most challenging, to eat junk or not to eat junk.

Day 7:

Spending time away from my phone is not so bad anymore. Time passes by and I don’t even notice. Healthy food is not as easy to pack in the mornings for my day. Maybe that is why there is obesity in America. It’s easy to just throw a frozen lunch in your bag, and how easy is it to go get fast food during lunch? Buying lunch can be expensive when you add it all up week by week. Dollar menu at Mc D’s OR healthy lunch that costs $10 bucks?! That is a no brainer for the 20-something who realized she isn’t close to what she thought she would be making at this day and age.

All in all week 1 was a success! I am not feeling as stressed and overwhelmed. It’s amazing how just a few small changes in your everyday life can make an impact.

Time For Some Spring Cleaning

Spring is the time for new beginnings! And I am ready! When I was a little girl I had a plan for my life. At the age of 25 I am no where near where I thought I would be at this age! And yano what? That is fine by me! Though there are a few things I would like to ReVamp. A friend of mine is currently going through a ‘cleansing journey’ and I am starting a journey of my own as I embark on 26!

Daily Living:

For the most part I am a neat freak, and sometimes have to force myself to step back from the moment when I find myself to be a little OCD. I am very organized. There is a place for everything and everything should be in it’s place. Though some may see this as a great way to be I find myself thinking about tidying up my room or doing other chores when I am out. Why am I stressing it?!

Technology rules my life. E-mail, Internet, and Facebook are apart of my everyday life. I am either on the computer or on my phone all day checking e-mail, surfing the web, or on facebook (mostly playing the app games). My zebra cased Blackberry is attached to me AT ALL TIMES! There have been times where I cannot continue my day until my blackberry is by my side.

Stressors. We all have them! It never seems to go away. Just when I think things have settled and I can take a breath to relax, something else is dumped on my plate.  Stress gives me anxiety.  Not Healthy! Unfortunately, when I am stressed and under a lot of pressure it is hard at times to separate that problem/situation from the moment I am currently in. I have become very impatient, and at times dismissive. I don’t want to be this way! Why can’t I just relax?

Health: Always being on the go what is the easiest thing to eat? Fast food and junk snacks! I always manage to give myself the same excuse, “I am a Zumba Instructor, I can eat what I want and burn it off in class.” I will even throw in, “This is 150 calories. That’s like three Zumba songs! It’s like I never ate this!” Yes I am aware my math is a little off…

So here it goes!

Goals:
Spend at least 1 hour a day without having my phone by my side.

I will live in the moment and not let my mind drift and be clouded by stress.

When I want a snack, instead of reaching for the cookies, donuts, or brownies, I will grab something healthy: fruit, mixed nuts, yogurt, granola bar.

While I begin physically and mentally cleansing I will also start spiritually cleansing. Whether you call it prayer, meditation or you think they are one in the same, spirituality is another part of us that should be nurtured.

Goal:
Set time aside everyday to ‘recharge my battery’.

Let’s take care of ourselves!

Let the cleansing begin…

Rise Above

This blog is from August of 2009. It relates to revamping yourself by accepting what life has given you and releasing your self of negativity.

A friend has inspired me...

The past 6 months have been unexpected. Reality has proven you never know where your life will lead you. There have been ups and downs and broken dreams have dried my tears. And after all that here I am thinking to myself, I can honestly say I am happy with my life. Lately I have been trying to do some soul searching and looking back on the obstacles that brought me here. I realized I am not the same person I was 5 years ago, 2 years ago, even 6 months ago. We all mature and become wiser. Some people grow with us, and some don't, some we have to leave behind. Did you ever look around and go, “How did I get here?” I have been really lucky and fortunate to have the support of family and a few friends. I am not the only one who has had obstacles to face these past months…It hurts me to see people I care about hurt. If I had a magic wand I would use it for your happiness!

This is how I see it: Life is a learning experience. We make mistakes, we learn, we grow, we mature, and keep moving forward. And we should soak up every happy moment and achievement! Regret is a waste of time and energy! As cliché as it may sound Living Life to the Fullest is what is important! Every bump and bruise makes us the person we are supposed to be. There was a time this year where I lost hope; everyday was harder than the day before. Then I thought to myself…

Fairy tales and dreams have been crushed by reality. I need to believe that life and fate has a way of working itself out. No matter when it comes to love, career, friendship, family; you have to fight for what you want and what you believe in and realize who is truly by your side through thick and thin. I know sometimes life and making decisions can be scary but if you don’t take the risk you will just stay in one place and wonder what-if for the rest of your life. Don’t waste it standing still and being miserable. Don’t let negativity bring you down. Rid your life of that and do whatever it takes to make yourself happy and if you can’t have what makes you happy unleash your feelings, emotions and try to have patience and hope that one day you will be happy again. Don’t walk through life waiting for things to happen. You have to do it yourself.

Let me know your thoughts…